London Tube - How I hate thee.....

I shouldn't really complain as I've had a good run over the last two weeks with the tube and getting to my interviews etc on time, and karma will probably get me later for this, but the complaint book is coming OUT!

For those who don't know, London is in the grip of one of the worst heat waves on record (if you believe the papers here) and people are dropping like flies all over the place. Of course, most days the Aussies are walking around in shorts, t-shirts and thongs while sinking a pint or two and wondering what all the fuss is about.....

But today, even for me (admittedly, now a geographically detached aussie), it was hot. Everything should have been fine because Ck, myself and a couple of other people had made plans to go to the beach for the day (Brighton Beach, I wanted to bake on the rocks!). So when I got the sms from CK this morning saying he couldn't go, my bad luck run kicked off. We postponed the trip to Friday, figuring that would be fine too. The next bit of news, there's going to be a rail strike on Friday at 12 noon..... Great! Stuffit, we'll sort it out later.

So now I had to work out what to do with myself, and decided to hide from the heat in the Wallace Collection gallery. It's really awesome with one of the best collections of medieval armour and weaponry I've seen as well as having the normal art, furniture, porcelain and 'collectables' type stuff. To get to the gallery I banked on a 40 mins journey, so off I went.
1. Signal failure at one of the stations (about 6 stations before my stop), add 10 mins to your journey, then
2. A train stalls (how you stall an electric train, I don't know!), +20 mins to journey...
So just over an hour to get there in a small train in a small tunnel with no airflow on a hot day... lovely!

Saw the collection, and didn't trust the tube, so walked to St James park (it's very nice) to meet up with some friends. While there, CK rang and invited me to a bbq at his place. No worries... It's 5pm(ish), I've got 90 mins to get to CK's before it starts.

So I get on the tube and head towards his place. To get there I have to change lines twice, with the second one to get onto a line at Paddington station. The first change is fine, done withing 15 mins... then... stuck!
3. Train has broken down further up the line. We limp up a few stations for a while, but then just have to halt in a tunnel and wait (in almost the same place I was this morning!), +15 mins
4. They move the broken train to a side rail and we're off.. for 1 station.. congestion now slows us down as all the queued trains move through, +10 mins.
5. Just before making it to Paddington, I find out there's been a fire and the station is closed. Now I have to backtrack another station to get on the right line for CK's place, +10 mins.
6. Get the right line... going along.... Signal Failure!!, +10mins
Finally make it, trip time of about 90 mins.. bloody stupid!!! And now it's humid and overcast, so even hotter than this morning. People are dripping with sweat…

BBQ was cool, Ck's mate works for the Rail Network and told us that when it gets hot, the tracks expand so much that the trains can't go over 20miles per hour for fear of de-railing. Stupid tracks!

Finally head home... Avoid Paddington and the 'nasty' area by getting a different line home (I didn't know there was a second one of the way there, it may have saved a LOT of time). Made it most of the way and...
7. Signal Failure near home, delay expected, +10 mins

So that's it! I'm now home, it's hot, and I'm of the opinion that nothing works here when it's hot - not even the people. BAH!!.